Sunday, March 31, 2013

Dusting Ain't For Sissies

     We have one of those houses that has a really, REALLY, high ceiling in a spot or two.  That looks nice, BUT it causes problems, too.  Like how the heck do you DUST up there, anyway??? That is the problem in our entryway, which has an inaccessible shelf area underneath about a 20 foot ceiling.  We really had no idea what to do with that shelf area when we moved in, so I, of course, decided to decorate it.  With a Garden, no less.  Well, a "Faux Garden", as there is no way in Heck anyone is going to be able to get up there and water real plants!  SO, now we have this lovely (I think!) "Faux Garden" way the heck up there, and after awhile when guests come over they start commenting about how interesting all those cobwebs are hanging on all your "Faux Plants", not to mention the entry chandelier.   That is my first hint that it might be time to dust.

     That is a real problem for me because I have Ladder Phobia.  I cannot go up higher than about five steps on an eight foot ladder without starting to panic.  Like I get dizzy and sweaty and almost frozen in fear if I get too near the top of a simple 8 foot ladder.  This is doubly weird because I actually, in what I call my "Former Life", owned and flew a real hot air balloon, which did not phase me in the least.  I had no problemo sitting idly on the edge of that wicker basket a couple of thousand feet above ground as I went floating through the air--go figure. It's just that a ladder feels totally different and more scary to me for some unknown reason. And guess what--you need the Super-Duper-Extendable-Extra-Long Ladder to get up to the "Faux Garden" and chandelier, which is at least twice a high as that 8 foot ladder that I use to dust the tops of the bookshelves in the office.  Not good!

     So what to do? That's when Sweetface comes bravely to the rescue.  He is so brave and Super-Manly that he doesn't sweat a bit at the thought of climbing up on that Super-Duper-Extendable-Extra-Long Ladder to get up to the "Faux Garden" and chandelier to dust for his woman! So once in a Blue Moon, or whenever our super-observant houseguests start commenting a bit too often about the cloud of dust and cobwebs adorning our upper stratosphere area of the house, we have a dusting event in which Sweetface gets all that nasty dust outta there.  

     Which requires not only the Super-Duper-Extendable-Extra-Long Ladder, but a large tote bag for lowering the "Faux Plants" down to me for taking outside and beating the heck out of to get the dust off and bringing back inside and putting back in the tote, and it also requires a Lowering-The-Totebag-Rope, plus extra tools like the dustcloths, Swiffer-Duster-On-A-Stick, and occasionally the Windex.  Not to mention the yoga mat on the floor to keep the ladder from slipping.  PLUS a hammer and a nail and measuring instruments for hanging a new banner on the wall over the front door while he is up there.  Yup, lots of tools, lots of height and scary maneuvers, and lotsa testosterone to get the job done.  

    Oh, and did I mention lots of me frantically freaking out and fretting all the while he is doing all this?  Yes, that is one other necessary ingredient:  "Be Careful for heaven's sake!"  "Watch out, don't fall!" and other admonitions must be shouted out at frequent intervals by me to make sure no disasters happen.  Which Sweetface greatly appreciates, I assure you. 

     Anyway, after the whole procedure is done and cleaned up, we both agree it was quite worth the effort.  :-)  

Until the next Blue Moon.

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